“Work-Life Balance” Misses the Point



All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

The Shining

As humans, we crave fun, adventure, and something to break up the monotony of our routine. When we don’t have the opportunity to do more than work, it impacts every aspect of our lives, including our effectiveness at work. Employers, now more than ever, need to be keenly aware of the need for work-life balance. In our current world of hyper-connectedness, this can’t be done passively.

Maybe you’ve heard a story about someone “losing it” while they’re at work. Maybe you know someone personally. Maybe you have yourself. Sadly, it’s common.

“Nowadays, people are expected to work at a much faster pace. There are many many jobs [in which] people aren’t fulfilling their full skill potentials if you like. Social support at work and social support generally, society’s changing, those kinds of things are breaking down. All of these lead to people actually suffering more stress and eventually moving on to more illness.”

– Guest featured in The Day I Snapped (Mental Health Documentary) – Real Stories

“At 33yrs of age, I felt like this. Trapped in a good job in I.T. for 15 years and I hated it to the point of breaking. So I jumped. I transferred my sales skills to the animal world where I’d always wanted to work. I studied on weekends and evenings to get a certificate in animal care. Now at 53, I am managing a call center for a large veterinary group. I’m not looking to climb the ladder anymore. I don’t bring work home with me. I get to do what I love and I’m good at it! Never give up!”

MsWaggydog YouTube commenter

“I left a high flying office job because I felt exhausted, under pressure and miserable. Now, I work in a coffee shop, I earn a lot less, I don’t always get weekends off, I work funny hours, but I’m HAPPY.

Never put a price on your happiness. You might find it somewhere unexpected!”

Hanne Rose

Comments like these can be found all over the internet, in newspaper interviews, documentaries, and more. Each of us likely knows at least a handful of people that lament “I’m crazy busy at work” every time we speak with them. And I’ve personally caught myself doing the same thing!

The common vein between all of the stories people share, the perspectives for being the busiest, and the way they interact with work is clear: the modern workplace does little to nothing to actually create employee health and wellbeing as it pertains to “balance.”

“Balance” is impossible

When you think about it, the term balance represents something that is impossible. OK, sure, it’s possible without extreme dedication and practice.

When I think of balance, the first place my mind goes is all of those beautiful stock images with water in the background and three or four or maybe even five “perfectly” stacked stones. In some cases, it’s pretty obvious that whoever stacked the stones for the photograph either spent a considerable amount of time doing so or just used a hot glue gun.

bal·ance
/ˈbaləns/

noun
an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.: “slipping in the mud but keeping their balance” “she lost her balance before falling”.

verb
keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.: “a mug that she balanced on her knee”.

via Google

The definition for balance illustrates something that, in the context of work-life balance, isn’t very helpful or fun to think about. Balance seems to represent attempts to keep from crashing or falling down. And the evidence suggests it’s causing more harm than good.

So, if the word balance is wrong, what’s the right word?

I’ve given a lot of consideration to this question. In my view, and based on a lot of the research that I’m doing, the best word is integration.

When integrating two (or more) things together, often they are not equal by nature. Many times, like work and life, for example, the elements being integrated are at odds with one another. It’s pretty easy to see it if you take a moment to think through how work and life tend to contradict each other for most people.

Take a moment to consider how for most people, work and life tend to conflict with each other. If you have a “normal” eight-hour shift job, you’re spending at least one-third of your weekday working, not including commute time, late night email replies, and more. Compare that with the 1-3 hours you might spend with your family or friends in the evenings and on weekends.

Even in the most supportive of work environments, at the end of the day, where you work is probably a place of business – or certainly could be thought of in that context. Even in non-profits, the ultimate reality is that without productive task completion that results in financial solvency for the organization, the work, or the business, will perish. For most of us, that means a devastating loss of income.

So, what this means is that entrepreneurs, managers, leaders, etc. all have an incentive for team members or employees to work, work, work.

The 24/7 economy forces integration

There’s a good chance that you’re reading this on a smartphone. There’s also a good chance you’re reading it while you’re lying in bed waiting to fall asleep. Or maybe you’re avoiding work as you sit at your desk. Maybe not. The point is, though, that we’re all hyper-connected.

Sure, people go on work sabbaticals, long-weekends in the woods or at the beach, or any number of other nifty tips that supposedly help reclaim some balance. In and of themselves, there is nothing inherently wrong with these ideas.

What we have to remember though, is that unless you’re a hermit in the woods, or you’re one of those people that can somehow survive without a smartphone or Wi-Fi in your home, when you come back from your retreat, your work will be waiting for you, meaning your work and your life are integrated, whether you like it or not.

While it used to be the societal norm for people to work a 40-hour week, it is increasingly no longer the case. Everyone seems to be pushing hard to get ahead of each other or ourselves, achieve our goals, achieve our dreams, look good at work, get the approval of our friends and partners, on and on and on. The lines are blurred.

Most employers don’t see the problem, yet

A significant majority of the people in the roles as managers, executives, owners, etc., grew up before our current hyper-connected world. They lived in a time where 9 to 5 was the norm. There was a clear dividing line between life and work.

They left their home, went to the office, or the plant, or the factory, or the store. Then at the end of their shift, they went home.

If they left home for the evening to go out to eat with family or friends, because there weren’t cell phones, the boss couldn’t find them (unless the boss knew where they were going out). In those rare moments where the boss did have the home phone number, they still had to leave a message (assuming they “got the machine”) if the call went unanswered for any reason.

Now, without individual discipline, work is always on the table, or in our pocket, or in our hand. Work joins us for dinner, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, at lunch, and at breakfast. Employees work overtime, skip vacations, work holidays and through lunch breaks1 – and employers continue to reward this behavior with recognition. Work. Is. Always. There.2

Work, for many of us, is an all-consuming virus.

As a carry-over from the old 9 to 5, “facetime,” no not the Apple app, that thing where we see each other face-to-face, is still both perceived as necessary for career advancement by employees and is used as a metric by managers and employers to gauge an employee’s performance or dedication.3

Making matters worse is that whether they mean to or not, many employers, even those that have “strong” work-life balance initiatives in place, treat the employees that take advantage of those initiatives as though they’re not as dedicated as their counterparts working crazy hours.3

This is simply unacceptable.

Employers must lead the way. In a world where employees “perceive their work as part of their self-concept”,3 employers must create the environment where it isn’t necessary to rob an individual of any part of their identity pertaining to work or life. Employers need to encourage employees, maybe even force them, to focus on personal sustainability, true work-life balance, and integration.

Employers need to do more than just create the initiatives or policies that allow for employees to focus on their integration. Companies need to create programs that intentionally measure the impact and usage of work-life integration initiatives. There needs to be a recognition that successfully integrating work with life for employees positively affects the bottom line for the organization.

One-size does not fit all

Many employers, unfortunately, believe the solution here is to come up with a cookie-cutter, boilerplate policy that allows employees to wear t-shirts or jeans on a Friday, or maybe something like Hawaiian shirt day. These types of initiatives do nothing more than make employees roll their eyes.

Office Space

To establish a truly successful work-life integration program, the focus must be on both the needs of the organization as a whole in conjunction with the needs of the individual.

Each employee has individualized needs and desires. Companies need to take the time to know them, ask them what makes them feel sustained, supported, healthy, and integrated. The work-life integration programs that work best allow for flexibility on a person-to-person basis.

Communication, not surprisingly, is key.4

Shifting the mindset to integration

in·te·grate
/ˈin(t)əˌɡrāt/
verb
combine (one thing) with another so that they become a whole.: “transportation planning should be integrated with energy policy”.

via Google

That’s more like it. Combining things so they become a whole. Not just keeping from falling over.

The fun part is that there are numerous studies illustrating the benefit of successful life-work integration, particularly as it pertains to the financial benefit for a company.

Integration speaks to the reality we face in our constantly connected, heavily work-focused lives. Instead of futilely resisting the truth that work is an ever-present aspect of our lives, we accept the role work plays in our lives. In that acceptance, we intentionally strive to integrate or unite them in a way that feels positive and cohesive, whole.

And it starts at the top. Yes, the individual must take responsibility for their own needs and boundaries, but if the organization doesn’t actively support the individual, the issue will persist.

Act.

  1. Define success. Talk to your managers and leaders. Have them talk with their teams. Collaboratively define what success looks like for your team.
  2. Offer “support” stipends. Gym memberships, chiropractic visits, workspace improvements (desks, chairs, etc.), and wellness programs are just some of the relatively low-cost ways a company can offer support to employees.
  3. Stop emailing/Slacking at night. One of the quickest ways to show employees that their life-work integration and balance isn’t really valued is to send messages with the tone of “looking for an immediate response” at night and odd hours – or when you know they are involved in a personal activity.
  4. Offer flex time. Sometimes, under a deadline, employees will need to work long hours to get things done on time. Employers can help keep things integrated by allowing those same employees to take an equivalent amount of time “off” with no financial repercussions on a different day.
  5. Encourage social activities. Most people spend one-third of their adult life at work (roughly 90,000 hours). Friendships are inevitable, and things are even better when the organizational culture fosters those relationships actively.
  6. Other ideas.
    https://www.projectmanager.com/blog/companies-help-employees-achieve-work-life-balance
    https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/hr-topics/benefits/pages/10-ways-work-life.aspx
    https://www.industryweek.com/leadership/12-key-strategies-achieving-work-life-balance https://www.zenefits.com/blog/10-ways-to-promote-a-healthy-work-life-balance/
    https://www.forbes.com/sites/rachelritlop/2017/01/30/3-benefits-companies-can-provide-to-boost-work-life-balance/
  1. Reindl C.U., Kaiser S., Stolz M.L. (2011) Integrating Professional Work and Life: Conditions, Outcomes and Resources. In: Kaiser S., Ringlstetter M., Eikhof D., Pina e Cunha M. (eds) Creating Balance?. Springer, Berlin, Heidelberg – https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-642-16199-5_1 (p. 6)
  2. Reindl C.U., Kaiser S., Stolz M.L. (2011) Integrating Professional Work and Life: Conditions, Outcomes and Resources. In: Kaiser S., Ringlstetter M., Eikhof D., Pina e Cunha M. (eds) Creating Balance?. Springer, Berlin, Heidelberg – https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-642-16199-5_1 (p. 8)
  3. Reindl C.U., Kaiser S., Stolz M.L. (2011) Integrating Professional Work and Life: Conditions, Outcomes and Resources. In: Kaiser S., Ringlstetter M., Eikhof D., Pina e Cunha M. (eds) Creating Balance?. Springer, Berlin, Heidelberg – https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-642-16199-5_1 (p. 7)
  4. Reindl C.U., Kaiser S., Stolz M.L. (2011) Integrating Professional Work and Life: Conditions, Outcomes and Resources. In: Kaiser S., Ringlstetter M., Eikhof D., Pina e Cunha M. (eds) Creating Balance?. Springer, Berlin, Heidelberg – https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-642-16199-5_1 (p. 17)